Episode 38- Follow the Feeling
Since getting back from our snowboarding trip to Utah, Adam and I have had a strong feeling of wanting to move from our home in Georgia.
Do you ever get that feeling of "unsettledness"? It leads many people to battles with anxiety but I am under the belief that when people feel unsettled for an extended period of time, that feeling comes from living a life that is no longer aligned with where you want to be.
In this episode, I break down my beliefs on the subject of following those signs from God and gut feelings to make a change AND share with you our big news!
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And I truly think that although this is a pretty hot topic, um, that sense of anxiety that people feel, I think what that really is, is a sense of unsettledness. There is something within you that doesn't sit right. Be it your career choice, your parenting choices, your food choices, your health status, your marriage, your relationships.
This is To The Nines Podcast. I am your host, Tiffany Wicks, a mom of seven who doesn't subscribe to the idea that you have to choose between your family and a career. I am on a mission to show the stay at home mom who has lost herself in child care and co compelling and the overworked corporate holdout who isn't finding joint purpose in their career that they can work for themselves making an impact in an income that serves your dream life.
After leaving my nursing career to raise our family, I needed more mental stimulation, but didn't want to give up the privilege of raising our legacy. I've been in network marketing now for five years. I know the strategy and mindset it takes to be successful and to live a life aligned with your values and your purpose.
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welcome back to the podcast. Uh, I missed you. I didn't publish a podcast last week because I was in Utah with my family. Um, we took all the kids on a snowboarding trip. So mind you, none of the kids have snowboarded before ever, and it's been, I don't know, 16. ish years since the last time I snowboarded, um, but it truly was like riding a bike after I crashed a few times going down first time.
Uh, that was the name of the slope that you go down, like all the little kids in ski school. There were quite a few adults too. Um, they were all going down that one because that's the one you go down the first time. So. Uh, we did get lessons for the older five kids. So, I mean, my oldest four, like, they were hot to trot as soon as they were done with their lesson.
And they went on to, like, snowboard blues, which, you know, there's green, blue, and black, and then diamonds, and all the things. I was so amazed at how quickly kids can pick up a new skill. So anyway, they did awesome. We got Ayla, she's six. We got her two days worth of lessons, uh, cause she was definitely not checked out after day one and we wanted her to have some sort of fun.
So anyway, I shared a bunch of pics on my Instagram. Hopefully you guys saw that. Um, but we had such a great time. We loved Utah. It was beautiful. Everyone we talked to loved, loved it there. I mean, everything we love to do is in Utah. So hiking, biking, um, climbing, snowboarding, cross country skiing, like everything is there.
So anyway, I am, I am feeling a sense of. Unsettledness here in the Atlanta area after being back out west. So let's just talk a little bit about being unsettled, um, where you're at and what makes people move. Okay. And now look, we can address. Gosh, so many different topics when it comes to being unsettled with where you are.
Um, and I truly think that, although this is a pretty hot topic, um, that sense of anxiety that people feel, I think what that really is, is a sense of unsettledness. There is something within you that doesn't sit right. Be it your career choice, your parenting choices, your food choices, your health status, your marriage, your relationships, I mean, wherever you're at in life, if you've got this, Overwhelming sense of dread, anxiety, fear.
I mean, fear is not from the Lord and I am a practicing devout Catholic woman. So I do believe that we have a healthy fear of God, but God does not put fear within us, you know, he lets you know when things are unsettled and I think perhaps maybe that's where. Part of the anxiety that people have comes from.
And unfortunately, a lot of people choose to medicate themselves. And I don't even think they get out of it really. I think it just, um, like doles the feeling of anxiety or, um, unworthiness, what have you, but none of that is from the Lord. So, although this is not a Christian based podcast, I am a Christian woman.
So I'm going to bring that up. So what do you do when you feel unsettled? Well, you could first start trying to, like, look within yourself. Where are you at? And I'm not even talking about just happiness, because happiness can be situational. But really just true joy in what you're doing. Are you joyful in where you live?
Okay. And because where I live right now is at the forefront of my mind, because we are, we've never really liked this area, um, per se. I mean, we were here situationally, right? My husband was in the Air Force and then he went into the reserves and then he was flying full time. So we had to commute one way or another because his Air Force squadron was in Florida and then his full time job was in Georgia.
So we could have stayed in Florida and he could have commuted, you know, to Atlanta to fly or, you know, vice versa, come to Atlanta to fly and then commute back to Florida for his part time gig. Well, clearly we chose to come here full time. It was never the plan to stay here full time, right? Um, the kids are reminding me, our teenagers, which are having a really difficult time with the idea that we will probably not stay here.
Um, They're having, well, at least one of them is having a difficult time with it right now and has reminded me multiple times that we said this was our permanent stopping place. And I was like, okay, well, if two of you are saying that we said that, then maybe we did at one point. But listen, situations change and you have to be flexible with that.
And you know, how situations change. I mean, the market changes, your finances changes, your relationships change, your jobs change. I mean, if you could impart anything to the people you love in your life, it's the only constant they will ever have in their life is change. For sure. I mean, when I first started, you know, our lives together, you know, Adam and I, I was like, I'm going to be the stay at home full time mom.
And I was committed to that. That's what I was going to do. I was gonna raise babies. I was gonna make a home and we were gonna be one big happy family. Well, the trouble with that was my personality was Not on board with full time mothering. I love my kids. I love homeschooling them. I love being with them, but I also really love to develop myself.
And that desire and pull was so strong that I started to resent. Being a mom full time, I started to resent Adam for leaving the house and going on trips and you know, when he's out with his squadron mates, he's, they're going to restaurants, you know, he's sleeping in on the weekend, they're going golfing and I found myself like kind of getting mad at him about it.
What am I, do I really expect that he's going to go on a squadron trip and then not have any fun at all? Like, okay, I'm not having any fun sitting here, you know, wiping butts and nuts all day long. So now you have to do the same thing. Just sit there and stare at a wall. Like, is that loving? No, it's not even close to being a loving way to behave with your spouse and being angry at him for trying to live his life.
Well, that's not healthy either. This is probably why we're still married after 18 years is I noticed that that resentment was growing. So I knew at that point, like, I have to make a shift and here's. Why I made the shift it created a better person for me that I could expand my own Horizons that I could develop myself into an entrepreneur that fit within the confines of what we had agreed upon We had agreed upon before we even got married that if we had kids there was going to be a full time parent present So I've kept at my end of the bargain.
Okay, my the deal was the kids would have a full time parent They have a full time parent. They have a parent now that works from home But it's within hours that are set, and they don't move. So, well, they do move. They're actually very flexible. I'm not moving, meaning I'm just not going to throw out work every single day.
I'm going to find a place where it fits within my family structure. So as a full time parent, I am still a full time parent, but my brain isn't on full time parenting because I have something else that I'm working on. So I'm a health and fitness coach. I have a podcast. I have a website. I have, you know, a network marketing.
Business. I have a lot going on, but none of that has interfered with the ability to be a better parent. In fact, I think it has made me even better parent because I have less time to be good at what I'm doing. So you better be good the first damn time, right? Not to say I don't make mistakes because I'm human.
I do, but What caused me to move was that feeling of anxiousness and unsettledness and truly anger and resentment. I was like, no, I have to move from this place. This is, this is not healthy mentally, emotionally, physically for my marriage, for my kids. So I moved. I moved my body and my brain into a position that felt more aligned.
With who I am and who I was created to be. So when it comes to moving physically, like, that's where we're at right now, like, not just moving my physical body, but moving our entire home. Um, is, that unsettled feeling, like, gosh, we're here, we could make a life here, we could be happy anywhere, because we're happy together, but gosh, I sure would love to insert any of the activities I listed prior.
There it is. It's that feeling of unsettledness again. Like it's time. It's time to go. It's time to move our bodies, move our home, move our family and move our life into a place that feels more aligned with who we are as people. We've been getting by here for the last seven years, but this no longer feels like it's in alignment with what we want in life and everything else in terms of career.
Trajectory, finances, it's all falling into line. So, we're going to make the move. And it's going to be difficult. We fully realize that. We're going to break hearts no matter what. Our kids are going to have broken hearts. We're going to break our own hearts a little bit. Um, but we're going to make that move because it's that feeling deep inside your gut that says it's time to get up and go.
So what about your career? Like where are you at with that? Do you know how many people go to work every single day hating their life, hating their jobs, hating what they're doing, but they just, they just eat it. Like literally, they're eating their emotions. They're getting fatter. They're getting unhealthier.
Their blood work is coming back just off the charts. High cholesterol. A1c is high. You know, they're developing these diet and lifestyle related disease processes that really don't need to be there. If you practice a life that was more in alignment with who you are. So don't eat your feelings. Don't drink your emotions away.
Like I love wine. I market wine. Hello. I love it. But I have very specific rules for myself concerning how I consume wine. If you're interested in that, then DM me on Instagram. I'll tell you. Maybe I'll make a reel about it, uh, but I don't just drink wine when there's emotions present. I'll give you the, uh, Cliff Notes version.
If I have high emotions, if I have some, like, level of anger, anxiety, or stress, I actually stay far away from alcohol because I know my personality and I will overdo it because that's just who I am. There are some people that choose to be completely sober because that is their propensity, and that's fine.
If you can't rein that in and follow your own program, Then sobriety is probably the best option for you. I have a specific degree of personal discipline where I can and I say, okay, Does having a glass of wine fall in alignment in this personal rubric that I set forth for myself that says yes You can enjoy a glass of wine tonight, and if it's not there like it just isn't there I'm just not gonna do it.
So for you Start really investigating every area of your life. Where do you feel like you need to move? Where do you feel this unsettled, heavy For me, I feel it in my gut. I feel like a sense of foreboding or maybe even a little bit of dread. Like, oh gosh, this just doesn't feel like it's a good fit. Like a pair of jeans that you're forcing your butt into that is just like, I just can't wiggle quite right in these things.
Um, that's what it, that's what it feels like to me. I just don't fit. It doesn't feel flowy. It doesn't feel aligned. It doesn't feel right. So that's what I'm seeking in my life is a sense of alignment, a cohesive, um, pattern of behavior and mindset and fluidity that just feels comfortable in an uncomfortable world.
There is comfortability within the discomfort that is life. Right? You can be doing really hard things like I'm doing really hard things. You guys, I'm trying to operate a podcast and keep my up my website up to date and do my two different businesses and parent full time and try to be, you know, a good wife in the mix of all that.
That's all very hard. It's all very difficult, but it all still feels aligned and it still feels right, which means I'm going to perform. Each one to the best of my ability in the time I give it. Right? Your, your whole life is like a fishbowl. If you give your bowl, you know, 10 gallons worth of space to grow, you will fill it with 10 gallons worth of things to do.
So I have Very limited, um, bowls, if you will, for each bucket of my life. And I fit them in there in the time that's allotted. And then I push it away when it's done. What is it that you feel like you need to move from? For us right now, it's. I really feel like we need to get out of Georgia. If we stay any longer, we're going to be stuck here forever because our kids are going to grow.
They're going to find people, they're going to settle. And or, or a couple of them will settle here and then have families. And then we're not going to leave kids that have kids like grandbabies. Are you joking? I've heard that being a grandparent is the most amazing thing in the world and I would not leave grandchildren.
So, although. In my brain, that is many, many, many years away. I'm still planning for that, right? I'm still putting myself in an aligned position where I'm like, okay, if our kids found partners and settled in Utah, is that a place that, heck yes, man, they are so family forward there. And yes, the higher Mormon population, which, by the way, we just looked at the statistics.
is actually less than 50 percent now. It's like 42 to 48%, um, which is not terribly consequential in my mind, although we have different theological views on life. Those are some really darn good people. They are fun and they're very family focused and Utah is very health focused. So I think it's going to be incredible if you will keep us in your prayers for the move and for the hearts of our kids, that would be amazing.
Um, but the podcast isn't going anywhere. We'll probably take a break, uh, in the middle of the summer to just get settled and get moved and then give, um, you know, Maggie some time. She is the amazing assistant who edits this podcast to get her life back in, back in motion because she's expecting a sweet little baby.
And um, there you go. So for now, podcast remains feels great. Um, everything in our life feels like it's, it's fallen into place regardless of how hard is going to be because it will be, but that's okay. Right. All right, my friends, there is our little life update coming back from Utah. Big news that we're going to be moving.
Um, as long as everything falls into alignment with the sale of this house and the purchase of a new house and. You hauls and stuff and selling and buying, it's going to just, it's just going to be a blast. So join me on Instagram to follow all of the shenanigans on how we're going to move seven kids across the country, um, and then settle into a new state, new home, new life.
And, uh, be sure that you are following me, share this podcast. If you love what we talk about here, make sure you get on my website, check it out, click around. It is at Tiffany wicks. com. And I will catch you guys later. Ciao.